Help Me, Please
by wishing-i-could-rewind
Summary: What would happen if Mason hadn't shown up in the first book when Rose ran into Anthony and Miles? Mentions rape but nothing graphic for sure!
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first fanfic, and I would really appreciate input and thoughts! The idea for this came to me one day and wouldn't leave...so here I am! It starts out with some of Richelle Mead's work, which I put in quotes, the rest is mine. Oh, and I don't own anything. So, here it is.**

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"While heading out to practice later, I stopped in the dorm's kitchen to grab a granola bar. As I did, I passed a couple of novice guys, Miles and Anthony. Miles whistled when he saw me.

'How's it been going, Rose? You getting lonely? Want some company?'

Anthony laughed. 'I can't bite you, but I can give you something else you want.'

I had to pass through the doorway they stood in to get outside. Glaring, I pushed past, but Miles caught me around the waist, his hand sliding down to my butt.

'Get your hands off my ass before I break your face,' I told him, jerking away. In doing so, I only bumped into Anthony.

'Come on,' Anthony said, 'I thought you didn't have a problem taking on two guys at the same time.' "

"I don't recall offering to be with either one of you," I replied, trying to shove my way past them, but not succeeding.

Miles chuckled when he realized I was stuck. "It doesn't look like you've got much of a choice, Rose," he sneered.

That was when they started in on me. Anthony swung at my face. I wasnt quick enough to block it. The force disoriented me, allowing Miles to kick my legs out from underneath me. They laughed as I hit the ground. Anthony, being the leader of the two, stradled my waist and tore at my shirt. I struggled, but it was futile. There was no way for me to escape this. I closed my eyes, trying to block it out, though I wasn't very succesful, and prayed someone would show up to help me.

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I struggled to stand as pain coursed through my body. I stumbled out of the building and to the gym, glad I hadn't run into anyone. I sighed before pushing open the door to the gym, knowing I was late for my training with Dimitri.

"Rose! You're late! 10 extra laps no-" he stopped talking, more like yelling, the second he turned and saw me. "Rose, what happened?" He was at my side in seconds.

I flinched away, and cursed inwardly, reminding myself it was just Dimitri and he wouldn't hurt me. "Nothing, I got into a fight on the way over. I obviously lost."

"No," he shook his head then returned to staring at me. I averted my eyes to the floor. "You clothes are torn and you've got bruises on your arms."

"That happens when you get in a fight," I argued, but it was half-hearted. I didn't have it in my to really fight him.

"They are hand shaped, Rose," he observed. Dimitri reached out and put a hand on my shoulder. I gasped and pulled away.

"Please," I whispered, my eyes filling with tears.

"What happened?" He all but demanded.

"I'm sorry," I told him, "I know I promised to keep out of compromising situations, but I didn't know they would be there! I swear I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry, Dimitri!" I collapsed into his arms.

"Whoa, hey, slow down. Rose what happened?"

"Dimitri," I said between sobs. "I was attacked. And raped." I let out another sob, and burried my face into his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me.

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**Sooo, what do you think so far? Should I continue? Review with your thoughts, pleaseeee! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks so much for the reviews guys! I realized that Dimitri and Rose seem a little ooc...ya know since Rose is all strong and Dimitri hasn't admitted to loving her yet, but this is how I saw it so I hope that's cool with everyone!**

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Dimitri stroked my hair, murmuring soothing words into my ear. As my sobs quieted and my breathing calmed I looked up at him.

"I'm sorry," I said, laying a hand on the soaked area of his shirt.

He looked at me like I was crazy. "Rose, you have nothing to be sorry for. You didn't do anything wrong." He turned to walk me over to a chair he had out. I let out a pained hiss as the unexpected movement sent a jolt of pain through me. He shot me a concerned look as he put an arm around my waist for support.

"You're going to need to see Dr. Olendzki," he told me softly once he had helped me to sit.

"No, I can't." I shook my head. "I can't get pregnant so there's no reason."

"Rose, you could be hurt. I mean, just look at your arms. How many other bruises are there?"

"I said no Dimitri! You're lucky I told you!" I yelled, getting defensive. Seeing a doctor was the last thing I wanted to do.

"Okay, okay. we'll stay here_ for now_," he said, but his look said that this was not the last conversation we would be having on the topic. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"I was on my way here when I stopped to grab a granola bar. That's when I ran into-" I stopped, not sure whether to tell him about Anthony and Miles, or keep that to myself.

"Who did you run into?"

"I-no one, Dimitri," I said trying to push myself out of the chair.

"Rose, talk to me," he said. I closed my eyes fighting the tears that pooled in my eyes as the pain returned in full force as he gently pushed me back into the chair.

"Everything hurts, Dimitri, and I... I can't think straight," I told him honestly. He looked at me with a deep sorrow in his eyes.

"I just need to know who, Rose. That's all I need to know right now, we can work the rest out later. Who hurt you?"

"Anthony and Miles." After what seemed like an eternity had passed I opened my eyes, not sure Dimitri had heard me since he hadn't responded. But, what I saw shocked me. He had most definitely heard me. Anger was swirling in his eyes, and at first I thought it was directed at me, but then realized he was mad at them.

"They won't touch you again. I can guarantee it."

"How?"

"We'll go talk to Kirova."

"No!"

"Why, Rose? She can do more than I can."

"I don't want anyone else to know, they all think I'm a whore still, please," I whispered the last part. Suddenly something, though I couldn't pick out what, flashed across his face.

"Rose, you made a point of telling me you didn't do anything they were all saying. Have you ever-?"

"No. Well, I guess yes now," I told him, knowing he was talking about my virginity. Tears fell silently down my face at the thought.

"God, I'm so sorry," He said, and wrapped his arms around my shaking form for the second time that day.

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**Do you guys still like? Let me know! Oh, and I'll update as often as possible, but I can't guarantee it will be everyday. My AP teachers love to load us up with homework-_-**


	3. Chapter 3

**Soooo... I went to see the movie last night! Anyone else? I thought a couple things could have been different, but overall loved it:)**

**Wish I could say I did, but obviously I don't own anything:(**

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Dimitri walked me back to my room once I had calmed down. Luckily the sun was rising, so we didn't run into any other students or teachers. I hobbled along, with his arm around my waist, supporting most of my weight. He had offered to carry me, but I declined, insisting I was able to walk by myself. But, when my knees buckled underneath me as I stood, he insisted I at least let him help me. I unlocked my door and settled onto my bed. Dimitri shut my door and walked over to me.

"Take off your shirt," He instructed abruptly.

I wasn't sure what I expected to happen once we got here, but it definitely wasn't that.

"Excuse me?" I was slightly appalled at his demand, but mostly shaken. Given what had happened to me just hours ago, I didn't begin to comprehend his request.

"Rose, you need to see a doctor, but since you refuse I'll need to look at your bruises. I just want to make sure there's nothing else wrong."

"Dimitri, no. That's really not necessary," I pleaded. I didn't want him to see my body like this, it was too embarrassing.

"It really is though. Will you do this for me? I promise I won't hurt you."

With shaking hands, I slowly lifted my shirt over my head. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see his reaction. I tried to keep my breathing steady, but that was hard considering Dimitri still hadn't said or done anything. I opened my eyes and sighed.

"Just go. I know you want to. I look so disgusting. Hell, I _feel_ disgusting."

"No. I just didn't want to startle you. I needed you to open your eyes so you could see me, that's all. But, you don't need me telling you what to do right now."

"Please, just do whatever you need to do."

"First I need you to lie down," I started to panic at his words, which he must have seen. He placed his hand lightly on my arm. "I won't hurt you, Rose. You know that."

I lied back, trying to relax. He was right, I knew he'd never hurt me. His hands fluttered expertly over the bruises that scattered across my upper body. He prodded lightly at my bruises on my ribs, making sure they weren't fractured. Once he had finished, he put his hand in mine and helped me into a sitting position. He handed me my shirt and sighed.

"You're lucky nothing worse happened, Rose, but you're going to be really sore for quite a while. Some of those bruises are pretty nasty."

"I know, thank you."

"It's no problem. Get some sleep, you'll need it. I'm going to go, lock the door behind me. You know how to reach me if you need, right?"

"Yeah, thanks again."

"Come down to the gym in the morning at the same time you usually do, but don't worry about bringing any of your usual equipment, we'll just be talking."

I nodded. He walked to my door then paused. He looked at me over his shoulder, "I'm sorry this happened, but you'll get through it." and with that he was gone. I got up and locked my door before going into my bathroom. I looked in the mirror and sighed. I looked horrible. I had a light bruise on my cheek, dark circles under my eyes, which were bloodshot from crying, and my hair was all over the place. I turned on the shower and stripped. Once the water was warm I stepped in. I stayed in the shower scrubbing my body until the water ran cold, but even then I didn't feel clean. I felt like crying but shook my head and turned of the water.

Once I was dried and dressed I climbed into my bed and pulled the covers up to my chin. I knew it was unrealistic, but I hoped the nightmares would stay away so I could get some sleep. I had a feeling I would need it for my talk tomorrow morning with Dimitri. I was thinking about what he could possibly want to know when I slowly drifted into the darkness of sleep.

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**I'm going to try to make the chapters longer. I can't guarantee anything, but I promise to try!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the wait... I had this ready yesterday, but when I tried to post it my computer had deleted it...I almost cried... I had to rewrite the whole thing. So, sorry for the wait but it was too late for me to rewrite this entire thing:(**

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I could feel their clammy hands all over my body and their heavy pants on my neck. I tried to move, scream, anything, but it was like I was paralyzed. I started to panic. Why couldn't I move my hands? Why couldn't I say anything? I was starting to hyperventilate when I jerked upright in bed. I was sweating and my breathing was labored. Completely freaked from my dream, I glanced at the clock. 5 Am (Pm human time). I would have time to shower if I got up now. It wasn't like I would be able to fall back asleep anyway, so I peeled off my covers and walked to the bathroom.

Once I was clean and dressed for the day I walked out of my room, locking the door behind me. I took my time walking to the gym where I knew Dimitri would be waiting for me. I had considered not showing up, but I knew he would find me eventually. I wasn't looking forward to this conversation, but figured it was better to get it over with, and better him than just about anyone else. When I got there I pushed open the door to find him nose deep in one of his westerns. He looked up, and promptly put it aside when he saw me.

"How did you sleep," he asked me.

"It was okay, I guess. I slept well for a few hours, but then I started dreaming," I told him honestly, the last part of my sentence drifting off.

"Why don't you have a seat," he suggested, patting the floor across from him. I walked over silently and stopped once I got there, contemplating how to get down there without inflicting pain on my wounds. After awkwardly maneuvering my body in different positions, I made my way to a sitting position. Dimitri gave me a sympathetic look. I started to protest, but he cut me off.

"Rose, you deserve every bit of sympathy any one is willing to give you, don't reject it when you need it most."

"I just feel like it's my fault."

"Tell me what you think you did wrong."

"I could have fought harder or yelled louder. Or even just avoided the whole situation by coming straight here."

"Just because you were overpowered by two _male _novices, doesn't make you weak, and neither does the fact that no one heard you."

"I guess," I sighed. I knew, deep down, that he was right. But, it was easier to take the blame than let my feelings show.

"Can you tell me more about what happened?"

"Do I have to, Dimitri?"

"I would really like it if you did. I could help you better that way."

"I went to grab a granola bar on my way to practice with you when I ran into Anthony and Miles. They blocked the doorway and when I tried to shove my way past them, they started laughing about how they thought I could handle two guys at once. I tried again to push past them, but Anthony grabbed me. Next thing I knew I was on the ground and they were tearing at my clothes. I tried to fight them off, but Miles held onto my wrists. They took turns with me. I don't know how long I was there, but it felt like hours."

"Did you stay there long after?" I could tell he was trying to look unaffected, but this conversation pained him.

"They laughed and high-fived and then spent a few minutes threatening to hurt me if I told, but as soon as they were gone I pulled on what was left of my clothing and came to the gym."

"They threatened you!? Why didn't you say something yesterday?"

"I was afraid! They said they would find me and that they would torture me if I told anyone. Even Lissa." I kept my eyes down, embarrassed that I couldn't keep her out of this. Dimitri placed a hand on my knee, but i wasn't expecting it. Startled, I jumped away from his hand and pushed myself backwards, but halted quickly, wincing in pain.

"Where does it hurt, Rose?" he asked me. I could feel the heat rise to my cheeks in embarrassment.

"Everywhere," I whispered.

"Here," he said, handing me a bottle of water and some pills he dug out of his pocket. "I brought them in case you needed them. They will help with the pain."

"Thanks," I replied, swallowing the pills and gulping down the much welcomed water.

"So, what do you want to do next?" he asked me.

"I don't know."

"Why don't I tell you my thoughts, and you tell me what you think?"

"I guess," I told him, not sure I would be able to agree with any of it. I hadn't really even wanted him to know.

"So, I still think you should go see Dr. Olendzki, but I'm thinking that's still a no?" I nodded. "I also think Lissa deserves to know. She loves you, Rose, and will be worried when she notices the difference."

"No, absolutely not. She can't know. It'll worry her too much."

"Rose-"

"No! I said no, please."

"Okay. Now I think that telling Alberta could benefit you greatly. You could talk to her more openly than you could me, and she could help with your training until you're more comfortable around me." I started to argue that I had no problem with him, but he cut me off. "Don't say you're fine, Rose, because you're not. You jump whenever I touch you, or unexpectedly move."

"I guess you're right, and it wouldn't hurt to talk to another woman," I shook my head, half smiling.

"Now, if you want them gone, we need to talk to Kirova."

"No!"

"Why not? She could send them home, you would never have to see them again."

"She hates me, and I'm not too fond of her either. I don't want to talk to her about it."

"What if Alberta and I go?"

"As long as I don't have to, it's fine," I said, giving in.

"We can work with that," he mused, nodding. "Could I tell your combat instructors that they need to go easy on you for a while? Just so that they don't push you too hard until you're completely healed, and so that they only pair you with other novices you are 100% comfortable with."

"Sure, I guess that sounds okay."

"Why don't you go back to your room and rest. Your body needs it. I will tell all your instructors that you won't be there, and tell them what we talked about."

"No! Please, I don't want to be alone," I started to panic again. The dreams and thoughts I knew I would have sitting alone in my room scared me. I started to cry. Never had I felt so weak and broken. Never had I felt so helpless and useless. It was horrible. I let out a sob at the thought.

"Rose, come here," Dimitri said, holding his arms out. I leaned into them and wrapped my arms around him.

"Help me, Dimitri. Please."

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**This one was longer! Like, twice as long! I'm proud of myself. I'll try to keep it up! What do you think? Does everyone still like it? Review and let me know! :)**


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